Below are the 2 most recent journal entries recorded in Seaching for a Miracle's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
10:19 pm	Compared to what? I love that the first thing Ted did when he found he got an extension on his long paper was to call me and let me know. I know I'm a little hung up on him and probably will be for some time, but I like that he makes me feel okay sending him emails about stupid little things, and that he wants to stay in touch when I move back to California. My mind has got the right message, and my heart is catching up. It's sort of like when I feel the need to do bodily harm to myself--I realize it's a crazy thought and can dismiss it. In the same way, when I have a dream about Ted, or when he accidentally touches my crotch in class (hah) I'm able to realize that there's a distance between what I feel and what I want. Yes, there's a little pain in there, but I feel like it's something that is both unavoidable and that gets easier as time goes on. On a positive side, I almost never find myself thinking about Kenny or Beth anymore--the latest difficulties replace the old ones (and those are both old AND tired). I have a post about Kenny that I'm almost ready to make, I think; it's one of those things that I've never shared before (at least, that I remember) but that probably aren't that big of a deal. Edit: and he calls me "Bertie" *sigh* (Comment on this)
Friday, October 14th, 2005
2:05 am	Non-public journal Beads of Sweat Laura Nyro Cold jade wind Not an angel in the sky Just cold jade restless wind Something's comin' I know To devastate My soul I pricked my fingers On the thorns And this rain is a-rainin' hard This sky's gonna beckon mariah To match my soul Rain in the river Rain in the river Rain on the river banks Down my neck Beads of sweat Rain on the highway Running clear across New York A windsong in the barren trees Wild lavender heather By the railroad sways Listen to the wailin' Of the rain in the river Rain on the river banks Roll, roll River rock his soul She's callin you Rainclouds Talk about rainclouds Roll, roll River rock his soul She's callin you Rainclouds Talk about rainclouds Down his neck Down his neck Down on Down by the river Down his neck Beads of Beads of beads of Beads of sweat Five boys standing on the banks of the river Waiting for the virgin snow Searching for a miracle A pearl in an oyster And we all looked up to God Although he is the color of the wind Listen to the wailing Of the rain in the river Rain on the river banks Rain in the river... rain in the river (oh) (Comment on this)